There’s no accounting for taste. After all, they still make goat’s head cheese. And, as much as it goes against the image of a motorcycle as something beautiful and cool, there are some seriously ugly bikes out there.

Here are the top five motorcycles you’re better off riding at night (just be sure your motorcycle insurance is current!):

1. The Buell Lightning. I’m going to piss off some die-hard Buell Fans, so I might as well do it right off the bat. Let me say, first of all, that the Sportster motor inside the Lightning is probably the best motor in existence. Unfortunately, it looks like the designer took a bunch of scrap motorcycle pieces and randomly stuck them to the Sportster motor.
2. The Yamaha Roadliner. This bike is plain ugly. It’s so ugly, you’ll think you’re imagining it. It’s like a cross between a bad art deco apartment and the Batmobile. The three lines around the neck of the frame just seem to scream out, “HEY! LOOK OVER HERE! I’M BUTT-UGLY!”
3. The Honda CB400F. The CB350 was an amazing bike that only had a single year of production. THAT was a beautiful bike. It was replaced with this hideous monstrosity. The edges are too square, and the exhaust pipe styling is simply moronic. The rest of the bike is just forgettable. On top of all that, it’s not a comfortable bike to ride. The saddle rivets tend to dig into the legs.
4. The Suzuki SV1000. Here’s another example of a great motorcycle motor surrounded by a junk heap. Here’s a hint to the designers at Suzuki: Motorcycles should be SLEEK. This one is just boxy and angular. Oh, and it features a bottom scoop that is more appropriate for a snowplow than it is for a motorcycle.
5. Kawasaki KZ1300. I can just see the engineers at Kawasaki working on this number. “Wow, Jim, this engine is beautiful!” “Yeah, Tim, I know! Let’s hide it under a tank that looks like a fat man’s ass!” “Great idea, Jim!” Oh, and square headlights to boot.

Photo via said&done